Googling

I wanted to check out the 2007 FHM calendar so decided to Google it. Unfortunately, I mis-typed and instead got a link to the 'Feminist Mormon Housewives (FMH) Advent Calendar'.

Prurient interests aside, the title was such an oxymoron that I couldn't resist clicking the link.  The FMH site is run by a self-described 'Mormon, liberal, feminist housewife'. How that syncs with traditional Mormon teaching is beyond me – but being a free-thinking, semi-agnostic, materialist Catholic Freemason myself,  I don't think I should be nit-picking what people want to call themselves.  

Suffice to say that she doesn't sound anything like the Mormon missionaries I remember from childhood — earnest young men in big ugly black shoes and skinny ties with buckets of sweat dripping off them as they went door-to-door in the tropical heat, preaching….what? I really don't know, I was always too scared to open the door when they came calling.

A ton of comments on the site about how many lost souls she seems to be helping, so good for her.  Hey, maybe that's why Mormons stopped practicing polygamy. Could you imagine being married to, say, five feminist, liberal, housewives?!?!  

Ye gods.  Being whupped by one woman is enough for me, thank you very much.

I hate this school. Did my son get in?

So this father goes up to one of the microphones and starts on a long and involved 'question'.  I don't even remember exactly how it began.  I just picked it up from the point where he just started ranting about how he wanted to make sure that his son got a fair shake and he was worried that the kid wasn't getting the most out of his education.

Next thing you know he's going on about how he spent his whole Grade school and High school years at the Ateneo — but he didn't get accepted to the College!  He ended up going to college at UP, and getting a law degree from San Beda (both excellent schools in their own right) and is now a successful lawyer.  BUT THE ATENEO TURNED HIM DOWN! And it still bugs the hell out of him 15 years later!

(more…)

You’re 6 yrs old. Welcome to the rat race

Most of the rest of the questions were pretty standard.  They were all about "How do I make sure my son does well in school?" and "There's a bigger kid who beats the crap out of my son every day.  Is it OK if I beat the bully up myself?" (The answer to this, of course, is "NO".  If you really want to get even, sleep with one of the parents instead)

Strangely enough, nobody questioned whether it might be a bad idea to put so much pressure on pre-adolescents to perform at a high academic level.  Almost all the parents who spoke up or we talked to had tutors for their kids, who ranged from 7 to 10 years old.

WHAT THE…….?!?!?!?!?!?!

10 year old kids spending an extra 2 hours a day outside of class being tutored? I figured I have two options at this point.

1) Move my son to a school that has less pressure. But that wouldn't work cuz he's pretty happy where he is, though like any kid (or adult) he complains about doing homework.

2) Just let go and let him enjoy being a kid, even if it means he doesn't get top marks.

Being an enlightened (and lazy-ass) father, I decided there and then to go for option #2.

I was just about to consider the morning a success and head back home for the last half of a doubleheader when my attention was caught by a father whose voice was rising like Chris Kaman's when Reggie Evans grabbed his…..aw hell, just watch the clip.

Continued 

School is hell

What is it about being on school premises that makes adults kowtow before authority figures? As we meekly found seats in the auditorium, the program started with the singing of the national anthem, led by Mrs. Cruz (not her real name, I don't want my son getting kicked out).  I'll be damned if she didn't start waving her arms around as if she was conducting a bunch of grade-schoolers — and almost all the parents joined in! I half expected the Panatang Makabayan to come next.

The next hour or so was taken up by standard speeches along the lines of  "This is how we are turning your kids into productive members of society blah blah blah" sprinkled with the implicit "We deserve every cent of what you pay us to educate your little monsters and if they never become decent human beings its your fault not ours."

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Back to the future

Last week, I went to a parent seminar at the Ateneo.  You see, my son is in his first year at that school and I have an overwhelming fear that essential nuggets of wisdom will be dispensed and I was too lazy or hungover to go, thus screwing my son's chances to go to a good college.

It doesn't seem to matter that I spent my own formative years at the same school and should already know the score.  Or that Jose is SIX YEARS OLD, for chrissake!  As long as he doesn't set a classmate on fire or sneak peeks up his teacher's dress, what could he do that would get him in any real trouble?

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Superhero life lessons

Spent a good chunk of the weekend watching movies on cable with Jose. We saw Spiderman, Batman Begins and Star Wars.  Its interesting that his comments have gone beyond the "Which one is the bad guy?" level to "Hey, he was OK in the beginning of the movie, then he turned evil.  I guess there's good and bad in everyone" type insights.

Cool. Seems I can stop the character formation crap now and just plop my kids in front of the TV.

Though I think I'll keep them from reading comics like this and this. 

Plagiarism

Yes, my blog title is lifted from Michael Herr's exceptional book.  But I figure it's OK since people have often compared my writing to his.

Lime's writing contains none of the energy and passion that characterizes the seminal book by Michael Herr.

-guy.i.ph

Lime has neither the ear for colorful language nor the ability to make you connect with his characters that epitomize Michael Herr's writing.

-Manuel Buencamino

 Herr is good. Lime sucks.

- Adam Mordo
 

 Lime vs. Herr?  HA!

- LLDD 

See? 

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