Film at 11

This just in from our Foreign Correspondent, A.J. Koch:

TERRORIST THREATS INTENSIFY

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross ".  Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.  

In a related development, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"  to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

 

Hmmmm…..

I wonder what's going through Dirk's mind right about now?

Submit a caption and win a, um…….a FREE i.ph blog!

Test anxiety

Ever taken a test without knowing anything?

Yeah, me too. I just wish I had been as creative as these guys.

(Thanks for the pics, Cousin Gay)

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Going over to the Dark Side?

One of my daily reads, TrueHoop, is being bought out by ESPN.

The blog is written and maintained by Henry Abbott, who offers a daily smorgasbord of everything hoops.  His posts are always interesting, informative, incisive and a must-read for any NBA junkie.

It's great that he was able to turn a dream/hobby into something that pays the rent, and then some.  The guy has put a lot of work into TrueHoop over the years and deserves everything he gets.

There are two questions that spring to the minds of loyal readers. 

One is whether the arrangement turns TrueHoop into a watered-down, sports-conglomerate shadow of its current self that restricts Abbott's ability to call things as he sees them.  The other is whether ESPN will stick the blog into its pay-to-view Insider section. 

Henry assures us TrueHoop will maintain its integrity and will always be "public and free".  Keep your fingers crossed that ESPN honors that promise.  My guess is current content will be free but they'll put the archives in Insider, ala Sports Guy.

Let's hope being part of ESPN doesn't turn TrueHoop into just another generic sports column.

Congratulations, Henry!  Here are some words of wisdom to guide you in your new endeavor:

 "Size matters not……Judge me by size, do you?"

The scumbag returns

 Pat Riley is set to announce his return to coaching after the All-Star break.  Is it okay to say, "I told you so"?

Wrath of the Basketball Gods

Did you read Bulls forward Tyrus Thomas' comment upon being invited to the Slam Dunk Contest on All-Star Weekend?  The guy said the only reason he was going was because of "the free money".

I admire his honesty.  It's a refreshing quality sorely lacking in today's politically correct, media-rep controlled, uber-sanitized soundbites.

Unfortunately for him, the Basketball Gods took umbrage.