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Man busted for growing pot
June 8, 2007 
I think his name may have tipped the cops off.
Which brings up an interesting question — how do our names affect what we end up doing in life?
For example, Lord Brain was a famous neurologist. The head of the World Health Organization's HIV / AIDS dept. is named <ahem> Kevin de Cock.
On the other hand, Spencer Dunkley never made it in the NBA and Jaime Sin grew up to be a Cardinal.
So beware — naming your daughter Chantal or Desiree means she'll either be a stripper or a nun.
Jon Barry probably won’t be a GM anytime soon
May 24, 2007Just saw a clip of the 2007 NBA Draft Lottery on YouTube (thanks to the LLDD for the heads-up) and a coupla things caught my attention.
First is how Brandon Roy, the Rookie of the Year and Portland's representative at the Lottery, could barely keep a huge, shit-eating grin off his face as soon as it was announced that the Hawks get the 3rd pick. Can't say I blame him – the prospect of running the floor with either Greg Oden or Kevin Durant would have made anyone giddy.
Was pretty disappointed though that there wasn't more of a reaction from Roy when it was announced that the Blazers got the #1 pick. I mean its not like the pick was Andrew Bogut or something (Bogut — a Serbian word meaning "big, white stiff"). It was GREG FREAKIN' ODEN!!! Maybe the most dominant player to come out since Tim Duncan! Roy shoulda been jumping up and down like a madman! Maybe he was worried that he'd accidentally knock Lenny Wilkens down, forcing David Stern to rush up to the podium and fine and suspend him for the first 3 games of next season.
Speaking of Lenny, I couldn't help notice that he looked like a midget standing on the podium. I mean, this is a Hall of Fame NBA player, a BIG guard who was a tenacious lock-down defender. I couldn't get over how short and puny he looked next to Brandon Roy (whose playing style, incidentally, has been compared to Lenny in his prime). I guess it must be true what they say about people shrinking as they get old.
Of course, the part where Michael Wilbon slaps down Jon Barry for saying that Portland needs to trade the pick for a veteran — cuz they "need to get better, not younger" — is a classic. Both Rick Carlisle and Dan Patrick could barely keep from breaking out laughing as Barry made his pitch and got skewered by Wilbon. I sure hope Barry enjoys his announcing job (which he is damn good at) because I don't think he'll be getting any front-office offers.
Oh, and in case you're wondering who we're talking about, here's another picture of GREG FREAKIN' ODEN!!!!!!
HOLY CRAP!!!! WE’RE GETTING GREG ODEN!!!!!
May 23, 2007
With a 5.3% chance in the lottery, the Blazers end up with the #1 pick in the 2007 NBA Draft.
Last year, with the worst record in the NBA, the Blazers got screwed by the ping-pong balls and dropped down to the 4th pick. It wasn't too big a deal because the top pick was a choice between a skinny Italian with a girl's name or a slow white shooter with a bad porn mustache.
But this year it's GREG FREAKIN' ODEN!!! A dominating big man who as a college FRESHMAN had a great season despite playing with A BROKEN WRIST — ON HIS SHOOTING HAND!!! The guy is a FRANCHISE CENTER!!!
Not only is he big, he's freakishly athletic. The guy shot 61% from the field and 63% from the line — despite shooting his free-throws LEFT-HANDED. Check out this clip of him throwing a couple down and chasing down Corey Brewer's shot during the NCAA championship game. This package of size, speed and ability only comes around every 10 years or so.
"With the first pick in the 2007 NBA draft, the Portland Trailblazers select, a 7-1 Center from Ohio State University…………….."
Today is a good day - even if I get struck by lightning before its over.
Headline of the week
April 10, 2007The First Gentleman, Mike Arroyo, checked into the hospital yesterday to undergo open heart surgery — a risky procedure under any circumstances.
So of course, today's edition of the Manila Bulletin (which bills itself the "leading newspaper in the nation") has this screaming front page headline:
31.5 million workers return to work today – 5 day weekend is over
Jeez. Don't the Bulletin's editors know that martial law is over and it's now OK to report ACTUAL NEWS?!?!
Campaign 2007
March 20, 2007
The campaign period is in full swing and Noynoy Aquino is running for the Senate. As you probably know, Noynoy has an impressive political pedigree. His late, lamented father, Ninoy Aquino, was a leading Senator and one of the stalwarts against the Marcos regime. He suffered years in prison, and was shot in the head by military personnel as he disembarked from the plane that brought him back from exile. His assasination sparked massive street protests that were the beginning of the end for the Marcos dictatorship. Noynoy's mother, Cory Aquino, is a former President respected for her integrity. She united the Marcos opposition and oversaw the difficult transition from 25 years of dictatorship to a freewheeling democracy. She was Time's Person of the Year in 1986. Her speech before a joint session of the US Congress resulted in more standing ovations than any other speaker. Then there's Noynoy's sister, Kris, who is the host of a showbiz gossip talk show. She has been involved in relationships with several married men, one of whom she claimed (on live TV) gave her venereal disease. Kris lives her life in public, complete with all the gory details. She is now going through a very public row with her current husband, who has been accused of adultery. So who's face do you think Noynoy chooses to plaster on his campaign posters, complete with an endorsement? Kris, of course. That tells you all you need to know about politics in the Philippines.
96 MPH
March 8, 2007
Do you have what it takes to hit major-league pitching? To find out what it's like to stand in the batter's box against the reigning Cy Young award winner, click here.
Turn the volume on. The sound the ball makes as it slams into the mitt is unreal, even on the breaking balls. Catching that's gotta hurt.
Film at 11
February 22, 2007
This just in from our Foreign Correspondent, A.J. Koch:
TERRORIST THREATS INTENSIFY
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross ". Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
In a related development, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.